Perpetual Thoughts

I failed my calculus midterm.

It’s a really hard thing to move past, as the material was not so far beyond my grasp, and it was not exceedingly difficult, I just did a poor job of studying and didn’t refresh the section that most of the exam was on. I should have done the practice exam. This is probably the worst score I’ll have gotten on any test ever.

I don’t feel like I did anywhere near my best. I’m just sad. Not just sad, I feel ashamed.

I mean, if I had done my best, then at least I could be satisfied in that, that I had put in effort, exhausted myself, done all that I could have done and worked through it. But this, I don’t even feel good about it being over. I just feel sick and weary.

I’m not prepared for the three other midterms that are approaching either.

I am tired and worn out, but unjustifiably so.

I mean, what did I do that was so hard that I am deserving of whining?

I just want to sleep and cuddle and draw and watch happy movies.